From a very early age, society feeds us a narrative—a checklist of milestones that supposedly constitute a "perfect life." While these stories may work for some people, they are not a universal blueprint for happiness. Clinging to these myths can often lead to unnecessary stress and disillusionment. Ultimately, there is no single checklist that everyone must tick off to live a fulfilling life.
Myth 1: Being Rich
While it is true that poverty leads to misery, the belief that unlimited wealth equals unlimited happiness is false. Research suggests that once an individual reaches an annual income somewhere between £30,000 to £50,000 (or its equivalent purchasing power), the peak of happiness gained from income is largely reached. After this point, more money often not only fails to increase happiness but can actually make a person more miserable. Wealth can be addictive; you can get sucked into a cycle where you constantly need more and more to maintain satisfaction. The healthier approach is not to endlessly ask for "more, please," but to define and settle for "just enough."
Myth 2: The Successful Career
We are told to aspire to high-status roles, but a successful career is not a guaranteed route to contentment. You certainly need some form of status or meaningful role in life, but here again, addiction to status can take hold. Curiously, many of the jobs society touts as aspirational—such as banking or law—do not necessarily make people happier than roles like being a hairdresser or a florist. The evidence suggests that those in the latter professions can be happier. This may be because happier people gravitate toward those jobs, or, more likely, because those jobs contain key attributes that lend themselves to happiness: working with people you genuinely like, and being able to clearly see the tangible fruits of your labor. A good job is one that makes you feel good, regardless of its salary or societal status.
Myth 3: Finding 'The One'
The myth that you must find a single, perfect soulmate is unhelpful nonsense. In reality, "The One" does not exist; there are many people who would be perfectly suitable partners for you. Furthermore, the expectation that you should remain in a state of intense, passionate love forever is dysfunctional. In nearly every normally functioning relationship, that passionate love naturally subsides after a year or two and evolves into companionate love. This transition is healthy, as it allows the couple to move forward and focus on other life goals and projects, such as having children or pursuing shared interests. Passion must eventually evolve in order to sustain a functional, decades-long relationship.
Myth 4 & 5: Marriage and Children
Marriage and children are frequently presented as mandatory checklist items for growing up. It's important to recognize that marriage can make some people happy some of the time, but it is not a required rite of passage for all people all of the time.
Similarly, while many people desire and have children, it is also a myth that children will make you happy all of the time. While they clearly bring moments of joy and can instill a strong sense of purpose, the evidence shows that children also bring with them long periods of stress, anxiety, and worry that an individual without children would not otherwise experience. This is simply part of the reality of parenthood, and it’s important to acknowledge that joy and stress coexist.
Your Own Route to Happiness
The danger of these common life stories is that they create a single narrative that leads us to judge others whose lives look different from our own. Happiness is not a one-size-fits-all equation. Each person must disregard the pressure of the societal checklist and dedicate themselves to finding their own, unique route to a life well-lived.
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